An Encounter

As
She
Pinched my
Flesh
I smacked her
Ass
Our bodies writhed
And melded
Her moans
Caught me off
Guard
Her breasts I
Held Them
The smell of lust
And lavender filled
The air around us
The bed under us quaked
And pounded against
The purple painted wall
Sweat from my brow
Dripped onto her pelvic region
She smiled and laughed
Before it ended I felt invincible
For a very brief moment... I was.
That's when she admitted -
She faked it.

Ignorantly

She raped
Herself
She is
Infinite
Timelines
Unfolded
Rapidly
And
Fatefully
The worry she conjured
Faded
So effortless
So
Graceful
Bright platitudes
Melted
Then
Rolled
Off her back
Within the time
It took to
Comprehend ecstacy
She raped herself
Forcefully; ignorantly

Happy or Sad

Reluctantly I tried to make her adore me rather than love me. She slapped me instantaneously and without regret. Two times I told bold faced lies but only because the truth would have freaked her out so intensely and dramatically that there would be no recovery from it. Truly.

And forget about pleauring her to the point of no return. No, she would not approve of such madness. To her pleasure is mostly derived from extended periods of celibacy and finger pointing. I'm not lying here.

On our anniversary I did my best to show her a good time. I made reservations at some fancy pants French restaurant but when we got there they said that I made no such reservation. I spoke to the manager but all he did was furrow his brow and roll his eyes. So, I punched him square in the jaw and tore up his fancy pants suit.

We were escorted out of the place as the manager shouted French insults. My love she looked like she was about to cry but instead she slapped me and jumped on my person. She licked my face and kissed my neck. She seemed very excited.

So we skipped dinner and went straight to dessert. Ha, ha. I'm not a big fan of inunedos but they do serve a purpose. So, after having hot sex in the back of my accord, she said nothing to me. I couldn't tell if she was happy or sad.

I guess she was mainly disappointed because that was the last time I saw her. Really it was. Well... it was the last time she knew I saw her.

Ten years later I spotted her at the local mall. She was holding a crap load of shopping bags and looked very happy. She was also being embraced by some tall muscular guy with a mustache. I stood about four feet behind them; they didn't even know anyone was watching them.

Five minutes passed and some kids ran out of the toy store and towards them. They shouted, "Mommy! Daddy! Look what we got!" I watched them take each other's hand and walk away like the quintessential happy family.

Now, I don't know if I feel happy or sad.

The Loft

I imagine myself
And her
Living in a cozy loft
Somewhere in NYC
Cuddling up on
A well padded mattress
Eating Ramen Noodles
Out of a big bowl
Reciting poetry to
Each other
Laughing hysterically
Because we can't
Believe how long it took
Us to find love and hang on
To it
We live off
The advance I
Received for my
Latest novel
It's not much but
It allows us to
Remain secure
In our
Love nest
For a year or so
Most mornings
We make Love
Until Noon
Then we walk
Through
Central Park
And point out
All the rich
Vibrant colors
Of the leaves
We make out
In the shade
Of
A Willow Oak
Some people stare
But most of them
Smile and move on
We watch and listen
To a homeless violinist
Express
His strife
Via his
Antique
Violin
I drop a $20
In his empty
Coffee cup
And we
Head back
To the
Loft
She strips slowly
Then pushes me
Onto the mattress
Her nude form
Illuminates
My soul
As she lays
To my left
She whispers
"I wish this
Could last forever
And ever."
I kiss her
Neck
And stroke
Her hair
She falls asleep
And I....
Wake
Up

Snow Cone

In the middle of January is when I lost my first original love. She had purchased a snow cone from a street vendor who only charged her a smile. Yes, a smile.

As she licked it she was brought back to a time when she was a child of only five. Her mother did not pay her much attention in those days. But usually because she was too inebriated to stand on her own two feet.

My original love she always thought of this when enjoying a snow cone or any other childhood treat. Sometimes she'd cry out loud if only to hear herself lose control.

Then one morning she finally lost complete and utter control. She mouthed off to the snow cone vendor and threw crushed ice at his face.

Some passerby interpreted this as a crime and phoned the local police. When the police arrived at the scene they saw her foaming at the mouth and felt it necessary to taze her.

Unfortunately, the voltage was just a bit too much for her fragile body to handle. Her brain literally imploded from the high voltage. She was buried next to her Mother.

All this happened in the middle of January. I lost my original love. I lost her when she lost herself.

I am reminded of this whenever I see a woman enjoying a snow cone.

Intimations

I've yet to have a very profound intimate relationship with anyone. Sure I've had certain females in mind for such a role but none of them really panned out. Actually, none of them harbored any feelings towards me. It was as if they viewed me as some mystery that is better left a mystery.

They were probably right. I mean how could I even hope to provide anyone with even a shred of stability? Try as I may... it is not one of the traits I carry.

The first girl to ask me out was Jacqueline. Most people called her Jackie. It was during seventh grade math class. I was thrown off by it. I had just begun to cultivate my own identity that year when she first took notice of me. Our teacher was pretty adamant about carrying the decimal over to its proper place. I had just figured out what she meant by "proper place" and felt a tap on my right shoulder.

"Hi, Ryan. Will you go out with me?" Jackie practically whispered to me while hiding behind her geometry textbook. I stared at her face for a few seconds before answering. I wanted to say yes but it came out as, "No." I then got up from my desk, grabbed the hall pass and walked smoothly towards the boys' restroom.

I looked into the mirror and asked myself, "Why the hell did you say no? Are you insane?" I half expected to have an answer to my own question. The only thing I could come up with was that I thought Jackie was just joking around or something. It was seventh grade after all. And seventh grade also happened to be one of the years in which I considered everything to be nothing more than a joke.

When I returned to class I immediately noticed the somber look on her face. I felt awful but decided it was best to bury my head in some trapezoids and hexagons. The minutes flew by; I did not look at her again until the bell rang. I watched her get up from her desk, clutching her personalized binder, and slowly walk out of the classroom.

The full force of what had occurred did not hit me until I arrived home later that day. I then began to dissect the entire moment; second by second. "If she was serious about it then the least she could have done was tell me she was serious." I said to myself while pondering long and hard. I allowed it to boggle my mind for a few more hours before finally giving up on the whole prospect of understanding her motives.

I saw her plenty of times after that. We had almost all the same classes. I don't think she even bothered to tell anyone about how I turned her down. I don't blame her. I don't tell people about my rejections either.

The rest of the year went by uneventfully. Well, it was uneventful for me but I witnessed plenty of classmates find love and heartbreak. Jackie was one of them. She had two short flings over the course of two months.

As You

She still had that
Dollar store smell
As she stepped
On the gas
And hauled ass
Towards
Mexico
I tried to stop her
But what for?
I could not come up
With a valuable reason
So
Now I have joined her
And now
We're in Mexico City
Drinking tequila
Eating enchiladas, rice, beans, corn
Corn chips dipped in the spiciest salsa
Ever made
And now
I think to myself
Why doesn't everyone
Do what we do?
Why must anyone witness
The changing seasons
Without knowing
Why they change?
Fear is no excuse
Beauty is not the recluse
You must know
That none of us were meant
To be
Shoved into
Cubicles, titles, positions
We are Life
We are
All
Alive
' and now I bid you adieu
And now
The sun sets
As passionately
As
You

Overnight

Making
fortunes
Overnight
Subtle
Plight
Begins its
ugliness
and she licks
underneath
her own
Arms
because
they resemble
Clones
of cubic
Ice Cream
Cones
I liked
best
When we both
Ran
Ran
From morbid
Dialects
Even when it meant
Smashing through
ignorance
and strength
Anger abounds
Yes
Just as
she slipped off
her tight, mechanical
Dress
All cosmic
Cataclysm
Seemed
That much more
Essential
, we slipped
Kissed

Monster

She is Monstrous
....
Not as
Monstrous
As
Me

Into the Fray

Ooh
She licked
her arms
Up
and
Down
I laughed
sitting
longingly
on a cherry red
Sofa
She hummed
a melody
I whistled
a tune
A box
of orange cream
Popsicles
quietly
Perplexed us
Ooh
We both
devoured
Two
She gasped
She grasped
My manhood
And sang into it
Softly
Ooh
Then I
Dissolved
into the
Fray

Cultivation (Abundance)

Why do I insist on
marveling at your
Elegant beauty
is it fate that tempts me?
Do you not see why
I'd rather lay down
in soiled gutters
than deny my
Infatuation
with You
In You
pain seems all
too frivolous
(my dreams enjoy abundance)
your beauty
has become
my own
Personal recollection
I adore you oh so needlessly
Yet
I can never turn away
From it (ever)
Won't someone please
Tell me
How to diminish
this wave-like
Essence
(wish it were possible)
......
Apathy makes love to me now
The dissonance
Helps cultivate
My character
I am in need of
A new plot
yet
I forgot
how it was
This all
Came
Into
Being